Echoism is the opposite pole of narcissism. Where does it come from and how to deal with it?

The concept of echoism was introduced by the American psychoanalyst Dean Davis in 2005. The specialist was looking for a term to refer to the partners of people suffering from narcissism. He noticed that they behave in a rather peculiar way. Over time, the term has become popular. It has attracted particular interest in recent years. Find out who an echoist is and what characterizes him.

What is echoism?

Simply put, it’s an echo renunciation of one’s own needs, fear of being seen. Echoist hates any, even the slightest manifestation of selfishness. He doesn’t want to attract other people’s attention. He cannot derive joy from compliments or praise. He tries his best to please everyone around him. At the same time, he forgets about himself and his own desires. He loses himself in meeting the expectations of his immediate environment (mainly his partner).

How can you recognize a person with a tendency to echoism? First of all, the way he reacts to words of gratitude. The first “reaction” to this type of behavior will be embarrassment, confusion, and confusion, as well as reluctance to accept a compliment. Praise is inextricably linked with being noticed, and this is what the echoist fears like fire. He does not like to express his thoughts and opinions out loud. He cannot perform in front of a large group of people. He isolates himself from others and avoids contact. He often enters into relationships with narcissistic people. He is not able to set clear boundaries and take care of his own well-being. He can’t end a toxic relationship, even if it hurts him. He loves to hear about the problems of his partner, friends, acquaintances or family, but at the same time he hates to talk about his problems. I don’t want to burden my relatives with them. An echoist cannot accept help from other people. When someone tries, when someone tries to support them, they often react with anger. For example, he might say: don’t treat me like a child, I’ll be fine. As a result, he often refuses acquaintances and friendships.

Where does echoism come from?

What makes a person an echoist? This approach is often based on childhood experiences. Often this is a defensive strategy for the person. The echoist prefers to stay in the background to avoid possible attacks from other people. It should be emphasized that people with a tendency to echism are highly sensitive. They very quickly take on the negative emotions of the environment, absorb them like a sponge. They keep them to themselves and take responsibility for them. They lose their own voice. They do their best to eliminate these unpleasant feelings (anger, sadness, grief, rage, etc.). Sacrificing yourself to others is the way to find love and achieve personal happiness. Echoism is more common in women than in men.

How to deal with echism?

Psychotherapy can be an effective “weapon” in the fight against echoism. During meetings with a specialist, a person can discover inappropriate behaviors from childhood and past relationships and change inappropriate beliefs. He learns to value himself and see his own needs. Working with an echoist very often focuses on issues related to self-acceptance and self-esteem.

Source: counseling-directory.org.uk, psychology today.com